Never Tell Me the Pods

I have a bad podcast about this. Pranks Paul, James D'Amato, Kat Kuhl, and Johnny O'Mara take a deep dive into Star Wars on behalf of wide-eyed new fans and longtime experts alike.
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I have a bad podcast about this.

Jun 18, 2016

Alien Nation Notes

Much of the new canon information on Rodians can be found in Heir to the Jedi by Kevin Hearne.

The Hutt Jedi Beldorion is from the EU book Planet of Twilight.

Ezra’s Gamble by Ryder Wyndham is Ezra and Bossk’s YA team-up story.  If you google it, you will see an image of Bossk wearing a stupid cloak.  You’re welcome.

Capital Shipping Notes

The Imperial Raider was a ship created by FFG for the X-Wing Miniatures Game.

You can read more about the Bespin Cloud Car here:

The Sith Infiltrator was Darth Maul’s ship from Episode I.

Okay, I was going to do more annotations for this, but this is nonsense.  I’m out.

Jun 11, 2016

This week, my sister, Kat Kuhl, and I talk about diversity and representation issues in the new canon.

No annotations this week.

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at

My sister's book repair website is here:

She also makes journals at

Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Logo by @JasonBaesel.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter. 

Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me.  Now, his failure is complete.

Jun 10, 2016

As I spend some time reflecting (ha!) on what direction I want Never Tell Me the Pods to go, I couldn't stop thinking about the different podcasting styles of the various podcasters I have learned from.  As with all things, this made me think about Star Wars.  What follows is a description of four podcasters I have learned from, as well as an analysis of what styles (imperfectly) map to them.

Master D'Amato 

Form III, or Soresu, sometimes known as the Way of the Mynock (!) is a style that is focused on pure defense.  In my time studying with Master D'Amato, I have noted the lengths he goes to in making sure his guests are comfortable and feel included.  While he can be quite clever and improvisational, Master D'Amato is actually quite measured in what he chooses to project, and can weather almost anything that guests throw at him.  A careful awareness of his own privilege, mixed with his own empathy for guests and listeners, makes Master D'Amato a formidable podcaster indeed. 

Darth Kuhl 

Darth Kuhl is a devotee of Form II, known to practitioners as Makashi and also referred to as the Way of the Ysalamiri!  Form II is an older form that hearkens back to classical radio dramas from before the Clone Wars.  Though many see Makashi as reserved and aristocratic, Darth Kuhl's personal equality-focused style of Form II relies on passion and is extremely well-served for one-on-one sparring.  Darth Kuhl's techniques privilege self-expression – through this, her chains are broken.

Master Coan 

Many podcasters find holding their own against Master Coan to be a formidable task.  Brash and unpredictable, Master Coan's Form V excels at both deflection and redirecting the energy of fellow performers in unexpected directions.  Unaware opponents can be caught off guard by Djem So's solid verbal blocks and parries, which transition smoothly into overwhelming counterattacks and ripostes.  Master Coan's podcasting style enables him to flourish in a variety of situations.

Darth O'Mara

Agile and quick-witted, Darth O'Mara is the epitome of Form IV, or Ataru.  Opponents of Darth O'Mara find him absolutely impossible to pin down – he can transition from pathos to comedy in the blink of an eye.  Accordingly, Form IV plays to Darth O'Mara's strengths by enabling fast-paced transitions to a variety of topics.  Darth O'Mara has possibly the fastest response time of any podcaster I have ever observed, and his style always makes for a dynamic, kinetic experience for the listener.

Padawan Paul

Though I have yet to master even Form I, I aspire to incorporate aspects of all of the above podcasters into my own podcasting style.  When the time is right, I will study Niman, or Form VI.  Occasionally derided as the "dilettante's" lightsaber style, the Way of the Diplomat is perfect for someone still learning about his own abilities, and without a great deal of background in performance.  And I would be remiss if I didn't admit my own aspirations to master the dual-wielding techniques of Jar'Kai!

Jun 1, 2016

One of our listeners, Dane, kindly provided EVEN MORE details about Star Tours.  They are below, in (minorly) edited form:

Each ride will randomly select an opening, a first planet, a transmission, and a second planet.

On the ride, C-3PO is on the ship trying to repair the hyperdrive motivator when the auto takeoff sequence is initiated, making him your involuntary pilot. Following this, there are two possible openings:

In the first, Darth Vader, flanked by stormtroopers on the ground and jetpack troopers in the air, swoops in on a flying platform. In a variant, Boba Fett is by his side. He holds out a screen, on which the Rebel spy appears. 3PO tries to fly away, but Vader uses the force to stop the Speeder. R2 activates the weapon systems and two cannons fold out and shoot at Vader, who blocks them with his lightsaber. At this point you fly away and hit hyperspace.
The second possible opening has you rounding a corner in the docking bay and stopped by stormtroopers and a probe droid. In the background, Han is being interrogated by troopers in front of the Falcon. The probe droid latches onto the ship and shows the spy. When 3PO realizes the spy is on board, he and R2 make a break for it and fly the ship away. Han has also made it aboard the Falcon, which you follow, weaving through a bunch of Star Destroyers, until you both hit hyperspace in different directions.

The first planet possibilities are Jakku, Tatooine, Hoth, and Kashyyyk.

Jakku has you following Finn on the Falcon through the battle wreckage, including the Super Star Destroyer (Ravager).

Tatooine is the Boonta Eve podrace, and you inadvertently become a part of the race.

Hoth involves the battle of Hoth (despite clashing slightly with the timeline). There are AT-ATs and snowspeeders.

Kashyyyk has the Wookiees fighting Clone Troopers (Chewbacca is seen briefly as well).

Once you leave the first planet, you receive a Rebel transmission. This can be from Leia, Yoda, or Ackbar, but right now it's locked into BB-8. They ask you to escort the spy safely to a base. R2 is given the information of where to take you.  At this point you'll hit hyperspace and arrive at a second planet.

The second planet can be Naboo, Coruscant, or Geonosis.

Naboo starts with passing a Trade Federation blockade. Some Naboo Starfighters have you follow them to the surface, but they are shot down by droid fighters. The droids shoot at you and 3PO makes a crash landing in the water. You then pass by Otoh Gunga, where you either pass Jar-Jar (who ducks out of the way) or in a variant, he gets hit and is sprawled across the windshield briefly. You then follow a Bongo through the planet's core and are attacked by sea monsters before making it to a hanger on the other side. Two variant endings have the pit droid repairing a Naboo fighter doing different things in reaction to your... intrusion.

Coruscant is the battle over the planet, in which buzz droids take out the ship's controls and you plummet to the surface. R2 regains control as you reach the speeder "streets" in the city below (like the beginning of Episode II). There is a variant at the end of this one where Chewbacca and the Falcon are in the hangar when you finally land.

Geonosis actually takes place above the planet in an asteroid field, where you fight Boba Fett in the Slave I. After he sets off some seismic charges, you see the unfinished first Death Star and Vader chases you in his TIE Advanced, flanked by two other TIEs. They follow you into the Death Star toward the core, and when you emerge again, Fett has one more bomb waiting for you, which you deflect back at him before you hit hyperspace to get out of there and to the Rebel fleet and a Nebulon-B frigate.
Thanks, Dane!
May 29, 2016

Join us as Johnny talks about a beloved tourist destination.

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at

Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Logo by @JasonBaesel.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter.



And you said it was pretty here.

May 29, 2016

 I'm having trouble figuring out how to embed pictures, so instead here are some ridiculous links.

Here is a link to Hyperspace Hoopla, a goofy video of Star Wars characters dancing at Disney World.

Here is another amazing video of a Star Tours event.

May 21, 2016

Kat couldn't join us this week, so we decided to cover our most important topic yet -- Pigs in Space.

Be warned -- this is our silliest episode yet.  (And yes, that includes the Bigger Luke one.)

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at


Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Logo by @JasonBaesel.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter.

A puffer pig has a nose for precious minerals. It can do the job of a dozen mining scanners!

May 21, 2016

Here's a handy list of all the critters we talk about this week.

Nickname, Species Name, (Individual Name)

“Hammerhead”, Ithorian, (Momaw Nadon)

“Walrus Man”, Aqualish, (Ponda Baba)

“Squid Head”, Quarren, (Tessek)

“Prune Face”, Dressellian, (Orimaarko)

“Yak Face”, Yarkora, (Saelt-Marae)

“Snaggletooth”, Snivvian, (Zutton)

List of Pigs in Space

  1. Snivvians
  2. Gamorreans
  3. Ugnaughts
  4. Puffer Pigs
  5. Happabores
  6. Jablogians

Here are pictures of Luke, Yoda, Piggy, and Kermit hanging out.

May 14, 2016

This week, we review Claudia Gray's novel Bloodline.  In the interest of full disclosure, Del Rey sent us a review copy, which Kat and I read.  Johnny bought his own, and James volunteered not to read it so we could keep the discussion accessible.  James is a real trooper.

No annotations this week, because we mostly discuss a single book.  The baseball player to whom we refer in this episode is Sean Conroy.

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at

Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Logo by @JasonBaesel.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter.


Somebody has to save our skins.

May 7, 2016

The gang talks about their earliest Star Wars memories, and we discuss the mysterious Force Planet, Mortis.

Be warned: this will contain spoilers for the Season 2 finale of Star Wars Rebels.

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at

Back Noisy Person Cards at:

Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Logo by @JasonBaesel.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter.


You were the chosen one!

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