Never Tell Me the Pods

I have a bad podcast about this. Pranks Paul, James D'Amato, Kat Kuhl, and Johnny O'Mara take a deep dive into Star Wars on behalf of wide-eyed new fans and longtime experts alike.
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I have a bad podcast about this.

Apr 2, 2016

Below are the annotations for NTMtP Episode 4 - Ewok on the Wild Side.

Mynocks are the batlike creatures that attack the Millennium Falcon when it flies into the belly of the space slug in The Empire Strikes Back.  They can often be found chewing on the power cables of starships.  In the old EU, they were silicon-based life forms that were allergic to helium.

The Sarlacc is the giant sand monster that Jabba tries to throw Luke and co. into in Return of the Jedi.  Sarlaccs supposedly digest their prey over thousands of years.  In the climax of the battle, Boba Fett famously fell into the Sarlacc pit.  In some versions of the EU, he escapes, only to fall into the pit again.  (I should point out that the Sarlacc doesn’t really move, so this is an impressive feat.)  The Clone Wars depicted a flowery variant of the species on the planet Umbara.

The Fanged God is the embodiment of the Dark Side of the Force in beast form.  It was first depicted in The Clone Wars.  We’ll cover this in more detail in a future segment.

Kiros Birds (and the related species, Convorees) are super cute birds that have goggles on their faces.  GOGGLES.  You should Google them for their goggles.

Kushiban are a cute EU species with color-changing mood fur that has a cultural ban on tool usage.

Caravan of Courage is a 1984 children’s movie that takes place on the planet Endor.  James has an unhealthy love of this movie.  It’s…not very good.  Its sequel, Battle for Endor, has a mysterious Force-using witch in it who can fly.  She was later retconned to be a Dathomiri Nightsister, the same culture we discussed from The Courtship of Princess Leia in our first episode.  We’ll cover Nightsisters in more detail later.  (Caravan of Courage is not canon so far.)

The Wraith Squadron Series is a set of EU books that focuses on a squadron of colorful rejects from the Rebel armed forces.  The pilots in that book are goofy as hell and are always messing with each other.  Note: Wedge is actually the person who tricks Janson into stripping naked, but only after Janson messes with him first.

Mar 27, 2016

This week, we discuss Admiral Rae Sloane, an Imperial Star Destroyer captain who is not a) an old white dude, b) grossly incompetent, or c) murdered by the Rebels or Vader (yet.)  We also delve into Kat's love for Sith philosophy, and Johnny's love of the Galactic Empire.  Garbage puns throughout.

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at

Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Logo by @JasonBaesel.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter.


I presume you are acquainted with the collection of half-truths and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi?

Mar 27, 2016

Below are the annotations for NTMtP Episode 3 - Sith Happens.  Let us know if you think we should do this regularly!

Aftermath is a book by Chuck Wendig, and takes place just after Return of the Jedi.  Rae Sloane is the main antagonist of Aftermath.  Greg Grunberg’s character from The Force Awakens (“Snap” Wexley) appears as a young child named Temmin.  There is also a homicidal ballet-dancing battle droid named Mr. Bones in the book.

Count Vidian is a new canon Imperial cyborg who also makes use of an imposing voice box not unlike Sad Black Plastic Frankenstein.  He likes to run around the Star Wars galaxy and yell at factories that are behind schedule.  Factories that do not shape up are summarily exploded.  (Vidian is one the Emperor’s favorite people.)  Vidian was also Rae Sloane’s boss for a while.

Admiral Gilad Pellaeon is an Expanded Universe character who Kat is quite fond of.  He served as Grand Admiral (Grandmiral) Thrawn’s second-in-command / Dr. Watson in the Thrawn trilogy by Timothy Zahn.  We covered Thrawn in our first episode.)  Gil is a pretty good bro, really.

Millicent is General Hux’s cat.  Please visit this link.

Korriban / Moraband is the ancient homeward of the Sith in the EU and in new canon.  In the EU it was filled with spoooooky evil ghosts.  It probably isn’t any more.

Darth Bane is an EU Sith Lord who was the founder of the Rule of Two, or the rule that Sith must only consist of a Master and an Apprentice, except for when Palpatine doesn’t feel like following it.

The Potentium is an EU Force philosophy that believes that there is no light or dark side, and that evil merely exists in the user.  The Potentium is stupid.

Darth Plagueis was Emperor Palpatine’s Sith Master who was conducting experiments on the nature of the Force.  His (EU) novel explores the idea that he was responsible for the creation of Anakin.  (Through experiments.  Don’t be gross.)

Mar 16, 2016

We're recording next week!  Stay tuned for more episodes.





allay loo ta nuv

Mar 5, 2016

In our second episode, Johnny O’Mara makes a very controversial statement about Star Wars and James D’Amato makes a lifelong enemy of Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  We also conclude that truth doesn’t exist and discuss space fashion.

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at

Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Logo by @JasonBaesel.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter.


I have you now.

Mar 2, 2016

Welcome to Never Tell Me the Pods!  In our first episode, we discuss our favorite Star Wars creations that belong in the trash compactor and discuss the history of the Mandalorians.

You can catch more Johnny O'Mara, James D'Amato, and Kat Kuhl on the Campaign Podcast at

Opening and closing music by @samuraiguit.  Send questions, comments, and tips to @roguetldr on Twitter.


Always in motion is the future.

Mar 2, 2016

We've got a bad transmitter.  I'll see what I can do.

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